Chapter Text
“Hi Cranky!” Pinkie Pie bounced down the street of Ponyville towards the sour-faced donkey. Waving at everypony she passed, giving her signature beaming grin. Cranky rolled his eyes.
“Whatcha up to?” She bounced along behind him and his wagon.
“Trying to sell my old junk.”
“Wow! What kind of junk is it? It doesn't look like junk to me. When I was a filly my mom and dad told me that junk isn't really junk, it's just junk that people CALL junk – hm wait that doesn't sound right – its junk that… wait-”
“Pinkie Pie for the last time, PLEASE leave me be. I do NOT want to be your friend. You have GOT to be the most irritating pony in all of equestria!” Pinkie stopped bouncing and stood motionless with tears welling in her eyes. Cranky continued to walk. After he turned the corner, out of view of Pinkie, she lowered her head and began to walk home. She couldn't stop thinking.
Why is he so weird about having friends? Maybe I’m not trying hard enough. I am Ponyville’s designated party pony of course, and it’s my job to make sure that everyone-
CRASH
Suddenly Pinkie was on the ground covered in a heap of apples.
“I am so sorry, Sugarcube! I wasn’t watchin’ where I was- Pinkie? I didn’t even recognize ya. I’m not used to seein ya so…” Applejack paused for a moment to reconsider her phrasing. “ … down in the dumps. What’s troubling you?”
“Cranky doesn't want to be my friend. He told me to leave him alone. I must be a pretty horrible party pony.” Pinkie’s eyes began to water again.
“Aw hun, that’s nonsense talk.” Applejack started loading apples back into her cart. “ You’re the best party pony Equestria has ever seen! I reckon some ponies just ain’t into the whole friendship thing.” Applejack put her hoof on Pinkie’s back. Pinkie’s eyes didn't move from the dirt road.
“I just wish there was a way to make people want to be friends.” she mumbled.
Applejack chuckled. “That’d be somethin wouldn’t it? A magic spell to make folks friendly. If only such a thing existed.” She put the last apple in her cart and started wheeling it away towards town. Meanwhile the gears in Pinkie’s head were turning. She needed to visit Twilight.
***
“I don't know if that's such a good idea, Pinkie.” The purple librarian pony continued sorting through her towering pile of books. Pinkie seemed offended. Twilight noticed and elaborated.
“I know you have good intentions, but it just doesn't seem ethical to take away somepony’s right to decide who they are and aren't friends with. I too was once closed off from other ponies, you know better than anyone else, but friendship needs to be realized by each pony themselves. It’s a journey we all must take.”
Pinkie Pie was staring down at her hooves.
“Pinkie? Are you following?”
Pinkie looked up at Twilight’s concerned eyes.
“I understand, Twilight. No friendship potions for this pony!” She smiled and bounced out the Library door. As soon as she shut it, her fake smile dropped. She knew where she wanted to go next.
The journey to Zecora’s hut wasn’t easy. Pinkie had never ventured there alone before. She didn't stray from the path, and carefully avoided the Poison Joke flowers. It was nearing dusk by the time she arrived. She excitedly knocked her hoof on the overgrown door. She heard Zecora’s muffled voice through the door.
“I’ve never had visitors at night before; who could possibly be at the door?”
The door creaked open and Zecora smiled.
“Pinkie Pie, quite the surprise; you have a mischievous look in your eyes.” She laughed and motioned for Pinkie to come inside.
Pinkie explained the situation and her amazing idea for a friendship potion.
“It would make it so everypony could all be friends! Everypony would be so happy and we could have parties all the time with no pony excluded!” Zecora’s expression nearly perfectly matched Twilight’s earlier. A mix of pity and amusem*nt.
“While I understand your views; ponies need to have the right to choose”
Pinkie’s eyes darted to her hooves again.
“I know, that’s what Twilight said too.”
Zecora laughed, her eyes moved to the window which was now pitch black.
“Outside there is very little light; I think it would be safest if you spent the night. I will go down and rest my head; you can use this couch as a bed.”
Pinkie nodded and Zecora exited the room. She laid down on the couch next to a single lit candle.
Zecora and Twilight are both so secluded. She thought. What would they know about keeping other ponies happy? That’s my job. She looked around the room and noted the shelf stocked with jars full of different herbs and liquids.
Pinkie got up and tiptoed towards the shelf of books by her “bed”. She read the spine of each book carefully. Cures for unusual ailments, a pony’s guide to the supernatural, herbal tea recipes, magical remedies for the mentally unwell.
That should do it, Cranky is obviously mentally suffering. This should help.
She skimmed the table of contents until she found “Remedies for extreme depression”. She read the page until she saw “helps to counteract self isolation”, and skipped to the recipe.
I’m sure Zecora won’t miss a single vial's worth of potion ingredients.
She gathered the ingredients from around the room, and began dumping them into Zecora’s cauldron. Just as the book instructed. The liquid inside began to glow a light pink color, and bubble. A light fog began to spill out of the cauldron into the room. Just breathing it in made Pinkie giggle a bit.
The bubbles died down and Pinkie tipped the cauldron over into a medium sized jar, filling it to the brim.
Hm, this seems like a bit much. She looked at the glowing jar. Well, I did exactly as the book said. This has to be right. I’ll give it to Cranky tomorrow. I should probably head home before Zecora wakes up.
***
Pinkie arrived home just as Celestia was beginning to raise the sun. Today was the day she enacted her plan. It was the annual Summer Sun Celebration. Everyone was going to be there, including Cranky Doodle Donkey.
She stored the jar in her puffy mane and started to make her way to town. She bounced high in the air to get a good view over the large crowd of ponies.
hm… she thought. If I was a cranky mule attending a large event, where would I be?
She started heading to the back of the crowd. Cranky probably wouldn’t want to be in the center of the event like she would. She finally noticed him, he was sitting under a tree, hidden in the shadows.
“Hey Cranky,” She started, “I’m really sorry about yesterday. It wasn’t right for me to try to make you be my friend.”
Cranky raised an eyebrow.
“Uh, really? W-well that’s the way it should be!” He boasted.
“And I also made you this.” Pinkie pulled the jar out of her mane, and slid it over to Cranky, the pink liquid sloshing in the jar.
“What is that stuff?”
“It’s an old Pie family recipe. I changed it up, though. So you should think it’s super scrumdiddlyumptious!”
Cranky’s nose scrunched up.
“Please, Cranky, I’m leaving you alone forever. At least do this for me.” Pinkie begged. Cranky rolled his eyes and opened the jar. He took a whiff of the aromatic pink fluid and started to smile to himself. He took one small sip that quickly turned into a sip that consumed the whole contents of the jar.
“That was great, Pinkie!” His face beaming. It was one of the widest smiles Pinkie Pie had ever seen.
“I’m sorry for turning you away, I want to be best friends!”
“Yippee! Thank you, Cranky! I’m glad I could make you smile!” Pinkie waved at the not-so-cranky Cranky Doodle Donkey, and bounced off to join her friends at the celebration.
“Woah, Pinkie Pie! What’s got you in such a good mood?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“I’m just excited to party, Dashie. You know me.” Everyone laughed and continued the celebration.
As the sun started to go down on the brightest day of the year, Princess Celestia began departing on her chariot. Everyone began wrapping up, putting away streamers, banners, bowls of punch, and of course, confetti.
“I’ll see y’all later!” Applejack yelled.
“The party was really nice, Pinkie.” Fluttershy whispered.
Everyone departed back to their homes. Pinkie Pie said goodnight to every pony she passed. Until she noticed a certain donkey, walking slowly down the center of the road. His eyes were pointed straight ahead, and the biggest smile Pinkie had ever seen was still on his face, almost distorting it.
“Wow, Cranky! You still happy?”
Cranky let out an “mhm” through his teeth, still grinning.
“I’m so glad to hear it! Goodnight, Cranky!” Pinkie bounced home ahead of him, leaving the donkey smiling down the road aimlessly.
***
The next few days were busy for Sugarcube Corner. After the display at the Summer Sun Celebration, it seemed like everyone wanted more sweets. It was a constant stream of ponies rushing in and out of the front gate with boxes and boxes of cupcakes, cookies, and cakes. Finally, the weekend hit and it was Pinkie’s day to do deliveries. She took her usual route, down the path towards the market. Something felt off. A few of the usual ponies she would greet routinely weren’t there.
Maybe they’re at a party! I wonder why I wasn’t invited…
“Alrighty, first on the list is Lyra Heartstrings, then Mayor Mare, then- ooh Rarity!”
Pinkie Pie bounced from house to house, delivering each pony’s sweet treats. She finally got to Rarity’s with the sun overhead.
“Special delivery!”
“Oh hello, Pinkie. You’re just in time!” Rarity began to levitate the box of cupcakes through the door.
“For what?”
“Well you see, darling, one of my outfits has been recognized by Hoity Toity himself! Him and some associates are due to be here shortly.” She began setting out the cupcakes on fancy tea plates, meticulously adjusting the angle with her magic.
“Wow, that’s great, Rarity! I’m glad he sees what an amazing designer you are!”
“Well let’s hope so!” Rarity chuckled. “Where are you off to next, Pinkie?”
“Hmm…” Pinkie pulled out her checklist from her mane. “Cranky Doodle Donkey! He never usually orders from Sugarcube Corner, I wonder if it’s a special occasion!”
“Oh no, darling. I’ve heard he’s been dreadfully ill. I believe the ponies here are sending him gifts to try to help him feel better.” Rarity spotted Hoity and his crew over Pinkie’s shoulder.
“Oh that’s him now, send Cranky my regards, will you?”
“Oh, uh, sure Rarity.” Pinkie hurried away before Hoity reached the door.
I really hope Cranky’s okay, I can’t believe I didn’t notice him missing.
Pinkie Pie approached Cranky’s run down little house. There was trash littering the yard, and a stack of unopened packages sitting on his porch. The mailbox was overflowing with mail. The air reeked of rotting garbage and mildew. Pinkie did her usual musical knocking on Cranky’s door.
”Cranky! I have some yummilicious treats for you!” Pinkie yelled. She waited for a moment and then pressed her ear against the door; a strained breathing was just on the other side. It was both threatening and beckoning for her to open the door. It was almost a plea for help. Pinkie Pie was a helpful pony. She opened the door.
